How the power of adventure can help you tap into the Art of Living Gently
Where the power of adventure came from
For millennia our ancestors trudged across continents, crafted boats to sail the seas, roamed over mountains and waded through rivers. They endured the heat of the desert, felt the rain upon their skin and sort shelter from blizzards.
These weren’t activities for the adventurous few but a necessity for all. Not a fun way to spend an afternoon or a weekend, simply a matter of survival.
Then at some point, we decided that it would be better to settle down, build villages, plant crops and tend animals. Later still, someone had the bright idea to build a TV, design the perfect sofa and manufacture the ultimate crispy snack and we were all lured into believing that staying inside, curled up watching images on a screen was the best way to live a life.
What we have lost
And yet deep down inside, we knew the truth.
Part of us still longed for the wild and untamed, the unexplored and the rugged. We instinctively realised that a life lived completely within the cosy and safe is a life without challenge, a life lived in the shadows, half-lived.
For women this has been especially true because for us, adventure has become even more of a minority interest.
Why is adventure so important for us?
Adventure is aliveness.
It’s the messiness and joy of life.
It’s the exhilaration of pushing back against our own limitations after delving into the depths of our being, of having journeyed into those dark places where so often we fear to look and of making it back.
We all know this.
When we think back to our own childhoods, our memories are so vivid because it was a time of adventure. It was about exploring the world around us, exploring our own capabilities and nature.
Of feeling gloriously alive.
Getting our knees dirty as we played in fields, swimming in the sea, lying in the long grass looking up at the clouds - a deep glorying in the present moment
There is unlimited joy and inspiration when we have these moments in our life and the more we can encourage them towards us.
And when we are outside in these adventures, life offers us the simplicity so many of us crave. We are there with our body, the landscape, the weather. There is water and food and if we’re out long enough, shelter.
The return to these basics reminds us what life is really about.
And it is incredibly freeing.
It’s good for our mental and emotional health
Problems with mental health are on the rise and despite the increased attention, awareness and help this problem seems to be getting worse.
And yet, there are also many studies that show the positive effect being in nature has on our mental and emotional health. Whether it’s forest bathing, blue health (the healing power of being near and in water) or simply the pleasure of crunching leaves or splashing in a puddle, adventuring in any form has a huge amount to offer us.
Nature brings us back to ourselves, to the present moment. Talk to anyone who spends time, usually alone, quietly in nature and they will talk about this quietness of mind which develops when we are present with the silence of a mountain, the stirrings of a forest or the power of a stormy sea.
Take yourself out on some quiet adventures and you will start to discover it for yourself.
Despite all the mental health techniques we may have learnt and used, its important to understand that a quiet mind is our natural default. Today, it’s so normal to have got used to the hurley, burley of the incessant chatter in our head, that we think it’s perfectly normal to listen to every one of those thoughts. We think it’s natural to have to keep up with the incessant, none stop, often whiney voice that accompanies throughout our daily lives.
Or perhaps, sick to death of the constant mithering, we’ll adopt a myriad of lengthy, complicated rituals to help us deal with the din.
We don’t have to do this. We are not this voice. We are the observer of its meranderings, whines and complaints. Beneath all this noise, lies the peace and calm of our true nature and somehow this is so much easier to tap into when we are outside, somewhere untamed and wild.
If this all sounds a bit “jumping over a fire pit dressed in wacky clothes waving a leafy branch”, bare with me. If you stay outside, in remote places, long enough, you will get a sense of this other side of life of which I am hinting here. A side of life which we are more remote from when we are sat in our four walls with the central heating, our screens, social media and a pot of stew.
There is something about the natural rhythm of our body when we are out walking, cycling or climbing that naturally quietens our mind without us having to deliberately step into mindfulness mode, repeat affirmations or chant incantations. The space of the outside environment simply helps this process along. Reminds us we are part of something larger, reminds us of our place in the scale of things – stare up at the enormity of the night sky and you’ll know what I mean.
I’m no psychologist but I suspect part of our malaise is because we feel separate from the natural world and so afraid of it in some way. Spend a night out in the open, and we start to rekindle this feeling of being part of this landscape. Part of the natural world, not separate or apart from it.
We begin so sense our place in the universe once more, not as separate, broken and in need of healing but as something already deeply whole, resilient and doing more than ok.
We tap into resilience and confidence
I’ve spent time on a few women-only weekend camping trips and even in my own limited experience, I have witnessed women blossom after a few days away. They might have been unsure about their own fitness or ability to carry on, but the pleasure, self-esteem and confidence to be gained from tackling these fears is incredible.
This may happen partly because it is getting involved in an area that we may have been fearful and so overcoming those fears, we see that they were simply ideas in our mind.
Or we do have a hell of a time, get lost, suffer from blisters, frighten ourselves with the sounds coming from outside the tent during a long, very dark night, but we then realise we did survive it, our resilience was there all along.
But this renewed confidence so often spills out into other areas of life. Dealing with squabbling children or an irritable husband just seems part of the normal tapestry of life when you‘ve spent the weekend running from bullocks (only joking) or wandering in the dark to find your tent.
You have reminded yourself that the basic skills of life are yours. Tackling basic physical challenges helps you tap into the steeliness which lies within us all. And there are no limitations about this. You might think you are one with a city landscape, but it doesn’t take much to reconnect ourselves with the wandering ancestor within.
Connection with others
There have been studies that show that the connections we make through adversity can be tougher and more resilient and how much tougher can they been when you are slugging your way up a mountain with others or trying to pitch your tent in a storm? Adventure is a great leveller in many ways irrespective of our place in society, we see others in the raw.
How do they cope with getting lost? What happens when they put on wet footwear in the morning?
Spending a day walking with someone is also a great way to get to know them at a deep level and I have had many an incredible conversation with someone I have barely met. Your attention is focused on the terrain, you have a shared purpose and so the pressure is off to simply talk all the time and somehow this so often gives people the space to share deep concerns and interests.
Get away from your troubles and see a new perspective – increased creativity
How often have you been up to your eyes in household/family drama and indecision and to go away for an ourdoors adventure to see the whole situation from a fresh perspective. Areas that once seemed fraught and difficult, seem more manageable, new insights and ideas come to us when our mind is free from the constant chatter and searching.
That question you have been painstackignly throwing around your mind over the last few months will throw up new solutions when you are gently gazing at the waves laping a loch or watching the trees sway in the wind. When your mind is at peace, these are the times when your solutions will appear.
And it’s not just answers to questions that seem to appear. New ideas about different directions to take up , the next steps to take seem to show up as well.
Connection with the spirit / the divine
Don’t get me wrong. I am sure it’s possible to connect with our spirituality whilst packing the groceries in Sainsburys, or putting fuel in the car but somehow, it seems easier watching the sunrise from a hill or lying in a meadow watching clouds drift above.
We know we have a spiritual energy (and I’m not talking here about any specific religious faith) but a connection with something more vast, expansive and eternal than this small limited self we appear to be in this moment. And in those times when we are in a vast wood or standing on a cliff, we are reminded of this connection to a greater force than ourselves.
You are going to end up fitter
For many, going to the gym is the place for them to gain muscle and fitness but I think there is something extra special about being outside and using your body and the by-product of all this adventure is that you are going to end up fitter than when you started.
Who is reclaiming adventure for?
So it’s time to reclaim the outdoors and adventure for women, not just those for those with a background of experiencing the joys of returning home satisfyingly exhausted after who seek adventure but for all.
All women.
The women who haven’t been brought up with the outdoors, fear for their safely whilst walking in the wild alone. For this whom, it isn’t a natural way to spend an a week or even an afternoon.
Because all of us have something to gain.
Let me be clear about this,
I am not a professional explorer. I’m not even especially adventurous. I haven’t left my family to fend for themselves whilst I kayak down the Zambezi river or trek across the Alps. Nor do I spend holidays traipsing across the wilderness, trapping my own food as I go.
I am simply a middle aged woman who loves the outdoors, has a yearning to get out into the wilderness, who frequently spends a lot of time staring out of the window day dreaming about living for a few months on a remote Scottish island alone and craves from the bottom of her soul for a life filled with more adventure.
For many years, I put this all off until I lived somewhere more conducive to adventure, in some unspecified time in the future. What I hoped was that at I’d be able to move somewhere that would simply require the opening of the back door, to fall into a glorious, remote landscape, In this perfect world, moorland, mountains and cliff top walks would all be equally available for me.
Eventually, I began to see that not only was it unlikely that this perfect adventure landscape would exist, but that nor did it have to for me to be able to find places to enjoy. I began to see that there are opportunities for us to explore wherever we are and that leaving until a time more convenient it might mean leaving it too late.
We have to grab life and do what we yearn to do when we can. Deep down, I knew that if I ignored that calling, I would go to my grave a very bitter and frustrated woman.
What we fear
Like most of the women I have spoken to, I have many fears and worries about getting out into the wild. Many of these concerns are valid. Yes, It’s true that statistically walking on a remote icy moor is a more dangerous occupation than lying in bed with a duvet over your head. Unless I put my wet finger into the electricity socket or the ceiling collapses (although this did actually happen – you can read the details in my previous book), there is little untoward that can happen in a bed.
On a moor, any number of things can happen. Axe-wielding murders can lurk behind every rock, we might sink without trace into a deep bog or be hit by lightening These things could happen but (and I am not belittling these fears), the probability of these things happening in reality do turn out to be small.
How to get started living gently and the snowball effect
By saving myself for the big, glamorous adventure (that never actually arrived because of lack of money and time, eventually I realised I was ignoring the snowball effect. I am a huge fan of snowballs and their effect (and no I’m not referring to the cold ones down the back of our neck).
Let me explain the beauty of the snowball effect and how it works so beautifully with the Art of Living Gently.
You sign up for a one-hour session on the lake. It’s a little bit scary and you don’t know anyone else going but you decide to put brave girl pants on and go for it.
You go along and decide that it was far easier to arrange than you had anticipated. You enjoyed it so much that it has encouraged you to take the next step.
You meet someone there who tells you about a regular club for slightly overweight middle-aged women who lack confidence and before you know it, you’re signed up with a group of lovely like-minded women who are going wild camping in the next few weeks and kayaking down a local river. And you don’t; need to have your own expensive kit because they can lend you everything you need.
As your confidence grows almost before you know it you’re out hiking over the weekend and solo camping in wild, remote spots. Or you’re not. You still keep your adventures small and manageable.
Do you see how this works? Your adventure profile is up to you. Yes maybe, you want to work up to increasingly more challenging adventures or perhaps you don’t.
The point is, it’s entirely up to you. There is no adventure committee analsing your every trip with pursed lips because you didn’t dare to go too extreme. No one (apart from you) is going to be judging your adventure credentials.
You suit yourself.
You make the rules.
There are no rules.
Turn your attention away from the lure of the outside world, for a moment, to the inwards, to you.